The problem is not about not believing who you are, but believing who you are not.
Some people come to therapy with a lack of self-esteem, feeling tired and
are often overwhelmed because they have not spent any time searching within themselves to find out who they truly are.
They think they know themselves profoundly well and spend plenty of time analyzing internally, assisted with self-help books, but they do not go in-depth deep or far enough because of the fear.
How can you go inside to genuinely and deeply know yourself? By being loving and compassionate, but honest and brave simultaneously
You can do this by getting rid of your ego.
Your ego tries to keep you in your comfort zone as it can create feelings of fear when stepping into the unknown, even though the “known” may be toxic, dangerous or even aggressive.
You can start to silence your ego by adopting the following methods:
1. Give up telling yourself what you need to listen to, due to the fear of feeling worse
2. Embrace what you do not like about yourself and speaking up about what you want without the fear of rejection or abandonment from others
Your ego is not your enemy!
It just tries to protect you from pain, sorrow or suffering, so if you feel that abandonment is painful, your ego will defend you, avoiding any situation when it comes to being abandoned.
The ego’s fault is that it just knows how to protect you, but it will not take into count any of the other circumstances about the pain.
Let me go back to the previous example; it will protect you from abandonment, but it might provoke a severe challenge in some of those ways:
- By not putting into place healthy boundaries, stopping you from speaking up about what you need to, or want to avoid in the case of being abandoned
- By turning yourself into a possessive or jealous person who is depriving others of being free and happy because of your fear that they will leave you
You will not be able to fix your mental health problems from this weak relationship with yourself, that is why the first phase in my therapeutic process is focused on you healing the relationship with yourself.
How can I help you to make the relationship with yourself stronger?
By making you aware of your ego’s tricks, which can hold you back. You will then be able to let go of your toxic behaviour patterns and replace them with healthy ones
You will re-establish your self-security in the long-term
You will not feel guilty for your mistakes anymore
You will stop talking to yourself in a negative way
You will realize who you are
You will recognize your value
In summary, it will be the start of a new and beautiful relationship with yourself
I hope you have learnt more regarding how the ego can sabotage you. Now let’s start to work on it!
You are not alone; I will be here to guide you on your journey every step of the way
If you would like to book a session and start to love yourself more, click here: https://lovingtoimprove.com/en/home#book
Waves of love
Beatriz 🖤